Dad cancels daughter’s birthday party after ‘disgraceful’ behaviour

A father turned to the social media platform Reddit to voice his frustration regarding his daughter’s inappropriate conduct. The man revealed that he cancelled her 16th birthday celebration and stands by his decision.

The father explained that his daughter’s teacher informed him that she had allegedly taken a bottle of alcohol to school. He said: “My daughter has been struggling to keep her grades up and hanging out with the wrong crowd. I have hired a few tutors to help with some subjects and she is seeing a therapist. She will lash out sometimes at home and I will have to punish her. She asked if she could celebrate her 16th birthday party at the house and I told her that I was fine with having a party as long as she stayed out of trouble and did well on her math test.”

The birthday party was arranged for the weekend, but he received a telephone call from the school a few days before.

According to the man, the teacher said that “she had snuck in a water bottle filled with alcohol and one of her friends had to be sent to the nurse”. The father went on: “I went to pick her up and she tells me that her one friend pressured her into bringing the bottle to school. She will serve an in-school suspension for five days.”

Other Reddit users shared their thoughts, with one saying: “You are a parent. And I think a pretty good one! She’s lucky she wasn’t expelled, honestly.”

Another one commented: “You gave her some conditions under which the party could happen. She broke one of the conditions and now has to face the consequences. Good for you for setting boundaries.”

On the parenting forum Mumsnet, one woman questioned whether cancelling a birthday is an excessively severe measure.

The mother explained that she had recently cancelled her son’s 6th birthday gathering following his “disgraceful behaviour” both at home and in the classroom.

She said: “I think I have done the right thing, but I feel truly awful. I have had his teacher talk to me four times already this term, twice this week, about his attitude. When he is corrected for misbehaving, he is rude and disrespectful to his teachers. He has told them he doesn’t care if he is in trouble and he is so defiant.

“He has looked forward to it for a long time, but the threat of cancelling hasn’t made a difference to his behaviour. Nor have the rewards and praise for his good behaviour on good days and his treats for earning house points or other positive achievements.”

However, child psychologists and parenting experts advise against cancelling a birthday party as a form of discipline. The American Academy of Paediatrics recommends teaching children right from wrong with calm words and actions. “Have clear and consistent rules that your children can follow,” and “notice good behaviour and point it out, praising success and good tries”.