Woman has social media in stitches over dog constantly ‘d**k punching’ husband

May 12, 2024
3,111 Views

A woman has taken to social media in a desperate plea for help after her new rescue dog developed an unusual and rather painful habit – repeatedly ‘punching’ her husband in the crotch. Despite the seriousness of the situation, many online users found it hard to suppress their laughter.

The woman explained that they had recently adopted Juno, a two-year-old German Shepherd mix, whom she described as “as sweet as can be.”

She wrote on Reddit: “She is fully house trained and smart as a whip and grasping early training commands pretty easily. One of our only current hurdles is that we are still doing desensitisation with her and our resident cat, but that’s not what I’m looking for guidance on today.”

However, despite Juno’s intelligence and good behaviour, there was one issue that the couple were struggling with. The woman wrote: “How do I stop my dog from punching my husband in the d**k?”

She went on to explain that they were still working on desensitising Juno to their resident cat, but that wasn’t the problem she needed advice on. Instead, she was seeking guidance on how to stop her dog’s bizarre and painful habit.

“Juno keeps punching my husband in the d**k. I work from home, so she knows me very well and only jumps when over-excited. My husband however does not and he works in an outside office. When he comes home she is so excited to see him that she jumps on him.

“I’ve been trying to correct it as it happens but it’s the one thing we can’t nail down. Unfortunately, she is at the perfect height where her paws go right for his crotch every single time while jumping. If he turns to the side in anticipation of her jumping, she will whip around to get to his front.

“Today, she was perfectly fine, watching him happily after he gave her a good neck scratch, and suddenly she went full Muhammad Ali on the family jewels causing him to spill his coffee. This will happen even if he is standing around dead silent, or if he’s just normally walking around. And it’s always the d**k.

“We have tried ignoring her, telling her ‘down’, telling her to sit before getting attention, etc. But she can’t stop d**k punching. She doesn’t bark at the door or go crazy when he arrives home so it’s not like he over-excites her when he gets home. It’s usually just him being around.

“Even hours later. She also likes to stick her nose in our crotches (totally normal, annoying but not a problem) because she is quite literally at the perfect height to just go and do that. My husband is tired of getting Popeye’d by the pooch. What other things can we try to prevent this from happening?”

Readers of the Reddit post found it amusing and proposed several suggestions and solutions. Someone suggested: “My dog did the same when she was young.

“I crouched down when greeting her until me coming home wasn’t as exciting anymore (took years though).”

“Never give any attention when jumping. Maybe even pushing her away is positive attention to her. I learned a well times side-step so my dog jumped into nothing and then crouch to greet. It seemed to work for me.”

Another person quipped: “I don’t have anything constructive to add…but I do want you to know that I am a practice manager at a veterinary hospital and your post had us HOWLING with laughter. I do hope you are able to remedy the targeted jumping.”

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