Sabrina Carpenter Pitches ‘Tall, Plain Boyfriend’ in Cut ‘SNL’ Sketch

Sabrina Carpenter should get on Shark Tank with this product offer! On Thursday, Saturday Night Live shared a cut sketch where Carpenter “sells” and pitches opting for a “tall, plain boyfriend” as a partner.

The sketch, which didn’t make it to last Saturday’s episode, sees Carpenter on a boring date with a shorter guy, or a “little one,” before she addresses the camera for an infomercial. “That’s why I switched to… Tall, Plain Boyfriend,” she says. “No drama, no personality, just a long body with hair on their head!”

Carpenter shows off her version of a TPB, played by comedian Ben Marshall, who’ll make “all the girlies” jealous.

Marshall shows off his “lukewarm takes” about sleep, gifts on Christmas, and dogs being fun. “Because if you need a deep conversation, bitch, listen to a podcast!” jokes Carpenter, before showing other examples of girls with tall, plain men as partners who don’t even know what they do for a living… but at least they’re 6′ 5″!

“Does tall, plain boyfriend have a perfect face?” says Carpenter. “Girl, I can barely see up there! That’s none of my business.”

Naturally, the potential partner also has some empathetic responses pre-prepped, such as: “That sucks!” and “That’s crazy,” and “That’s crazy how much that sucks.” The sketch ends with the small king from the beginning getting shot by an arrow by Carpenter, before she declares about her new man: “He might not make you laugh or think, but he will make you feel tiny.”

Carpenter performed “Nobody’s Son” and “Manchild” during her musical portion of the SNL show. She also appeared in numerous sketches, including “Girlboss Seminar,” “Grind Song” with Bowen Yang, “Plans,” “Surprise,” and “Appliance Store.”

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