Julia Wolf on New Song ‘Lamb’ with Kellin Quinn, ‘Twilight,’ New Music

J
ulia Wolf is seeing things in the music video for her latest single “Lamb” — or at least the animated rendering of herself is. It’s a familiar scene framed through video game graphics. The singer-songwriter is riding a motorcycle a little too fast down a slick road cloaked in a light layer of fog when she starts to hallucinate. The scene starts to recall The Twilight Saga: New Moon, only instead of Edward Cullen appearing in front of her as he did for Bella Swan, it’s Sleeping With Sirens frontman Kellin Quinn, who lends a guest verse to Wolf’s second single of the year.

There are Twilight references littered all throughout the “Lamb” video, an animated adventure created by motion designer and editor Dylan Oscroft. Wolf carries a stuffed lion and lamb in the same orange backpack as Bella; passes by a red Chevrolet pickup truck and a silver Volvo; and ends up in the same wildflower-filled meadow, only hers is more of a purgatory. “So, why do you bother holding me softer than water?” Wolf sings on the thrashing new single. “I didn’t mean to be picked for the slaughter, but a lamb is a lamb.” You can practically see the movie scene: And so the lion fell in love with the lamb. What a stupid lamb. What a sick, masochistic lion.

Wolf can’t imagine ever getting sick of Twilight. She has the film’s logo tattooed on her hand and found a niche, tight-knit audience when she started setting her breakout single “In My Room” to edits from the movie.

“I like to say it was my first love, honestly,” Wolf says on a rooftop terrace in New York, ready for the heat to dull into an autumn chill. “I didn’t really experience relationships or boys or anything until way later, and so that’s what I had and what I fell in love with.”

Wolf is good at working with what she has, especially as an independent artist. First, she relied on the ease of access provided by social media to expand her fanbase. Then, she powered through bare bones tours and festival sets until she could afford to factor lighting and production into her budget. It’s all starting to pay off. Now, Wolf has the resources to add Quinn to her growing list of collaborators (which also includes Drake, Yeat, John Summit, and more) and bulk up her live show for the tour she’ll kick off this month at the Forever Twilight in Forks Festival in Forks, Washington.

“We do have some really crazy shows planned for next year already that we won’t give away — but insane, insanity, ridiculous. I can barely believe that this is what they want me to do,” Wolf says. “I would like to announce an album before those things come out.” It’s all in service of fulfilling her daily mantra and nightly prayer: “I just want to make music that makes people feel.” Here, Wolf talks navigating her breakout year, the hellish behind-the-scenes of filming her “Deep End” video, and the lyric she made Quinn cut from his verse on “Lamb.”

There are all of these references throughout the “Lamb” video that reference your older songs — “Wishbone,” “Sunshine State,” “You’ve Lost a Lot of Blood.” How did you decide what to put into this video game world?
I have to be so honest with you. That was all the guy who did it, Dylan Oscroft. He happens to be just a huge fan, I didn’t realize. I only found him because he made a video for my producer Scro, who has his own artist project. I just thought, this is so sick, maybe we should reach out. He was so over the moon about it — he was comparing me reaching out to him to how I explained Drake reaching out to me. Like he threw his phone across the room and was losing his mind. So it was really him that put in all these Easter eggs. When I saw them all, I was like this is just above and beyond.

What was it like watching the video back for the first time?
I was so shocked that I didn’t have any notes. I’m usually very much a notes girl, kind of picky about this, that, and the other, but he just killed it. I was so locked in, I was entertained the whole time. Nothing felt like it needed work. And then the Easter eggs got me immediately. He just cares so much.

Tell me about the little stuffed animals, the lion and the lamb.
I think the whole “lamb is a lamb” thing is just how I view myself and my way of handling relationships. It kind of feels like I was born like this, like I’ve just been this way. I think that comes from my mother and watching her habits. For as kind and thoughtful as she was to me and my sister growing up, she was not that way to herself. So to me, it’s like yeah, well, a lamb is a lamb. That’s why there’s a little lamb stuffie at the end, just to tie it all together.

How did you connect with Kellin Quinn for this song?
I’ve been listening to Sleeping with Sirens like crazy, especially this last year. The songwriting has such crazy structure, it’s not really predictable at all. There isn’t any copy and paste to it. I’ve been trying to embody that and listen to it all the time. And then I just reached out to shoot my shot because I was in Portland. He lives in a small town in Oregon, and I was like, “Hey, I’m here if you wanna maybe do something.” And then he’s like, “Yeah, my daughter loves you.” His daughter is 13 or something. It’s so weird to think of these guys having full-grown children. But yeah, he was like, “Oh my God, we’re all so excited.” So he took a plane.

I had my parts of the song done. It was the chorus and the first verse, and I literally just played it for him in this beautiful studio. We were in an old library that was turned into [a studio]. It was so Portland, surrounded by trees. It was awesome. I just played it. He was like, “Oh, this is sick.” And then he went away into a different room that had a piano and these beautiful windows, and I could see him through the glass. He just put headphones on. He sat for however long, wrote his thing. He came back in. I was like, “This is great. Just cut out the last line because it’s too positive.”

What was the line?
You know, he loves the “don’t give up on us” thing. I was like, “Kellin, with this song, we’re giving up. Scratch that. Keep everything else. It’s perfect.” Then he just started doing it, and it was incredible. He loves to be a positive guy and I love him for that. But for me? No.

What was the appeal of using this video game format instead of being in front of the camera?
I mean, if it were up to me, I would never do video anything because I pick myself apart way too much. This was such a fun way to get me and Kellin to do something together. I love video games and all that, anything cozy, but to be able to give the song such a clear visual in the Twilight world, I was so happy. Watching little me in the meadow at the end, I was like, “Oh my gosh, this is so cute!” That’s all that I want personally in life. It was just fun to get to do it that way, because I just struggle with video stuff.

For “Deep End” you were literally underwater.
You don’t even want to know what that day was like. That was the worst. We had to stop for hypothermia. They told me that the pool was heated. It was not heated. It was freezing. We were in Staten Island. Horrible. Never again. Ever. Learning how to scuba dive the day of — didn’t like that. I’m a paranoid girl. I’m already a nervous girl and then they had me breathing underwater with no contact lenses in. Don’t even get me started on the weighted belts. They were asking me, “How much weight do you think will be able to keep you down, but enough that you could still pop up?” I started crying immediately when they asked me that. I was like, “This is the last straw. You’re kidding.” How are you asking me? What do I know?

Do you see a clear relationship and throughline between your songs? You’ve mentioned before that “In My Room” was already pretty old by the time it had this moment.
The thing that I am realizing so much — because even a song of mine like “Wishbone” is now starting to bubble a little bit on TikTok, which is so cool — I think things just take time for people to catch on and see that there is a throughline between everything. It’s just like we were saying, me trying to be as honest as I can with the lyrics, and that’s going to continue to happen because anytime I try putting myself in a character’s shoes or something else that you do hear a lot of songwriters have success with, it’s so corny. If I try, it’s horrendous. I have to just go off what it is that I’m feeling in that moment, and it’ll just look probably like a chronology of my life, really.

Are you a patient person?
Depends on what we’re talking about. Career-wise, I’ve been forced to be patient, really, just because we are independent, and that when you’re up against a lot of people who are not that, or a nepo baby, whatever it is — it just forces you to have to be chill and trust that things are coming. It just takes a little longer sometimes.

Are you still enjoying being independent? I’m sure there have been calls and people knocking at the door.
We love that because I gave “In My Room” to every major label, and they all sent my home. I was like, OK, that’s fine. But I love it because being independent, I have a say in everything. I opened my phone this morning and there was a girl in tears about Universal withholding her music, she’s not allowed to release anything, and that story is a tale as old as time. We don’t get that over at AWAL. It’s just really chill and I love that.

Are you leaning more towards an EP or an album for your next release?
I think I am an album kind of girl. I just love a complete body of work. I look at people like Ethel Cain, like Phoebe Bridgers, who aren’t afraid to take their time. It does give me some peace of mind because I will start to freak out and be like, “Everyone is gonna forget me if I don’t put something new out.” But that’s just not the case. Especially because things need time from the past, and I am proud of Pressure, and she still is growing, but I do need to write new music. I’ve set aside the beginning of this coming new year to do that, say no to things, and finally be able to have a little bit of free time because it’s hard. We went to LA last week with the mindset of making new songs. But when you only have a week to do it and you’re being thrown into these sessions — I need to just go back to me, Scro, and my boyfriend. It was the three of us who made Pressure. It’s gonna be the three of us who are gonna make the next thing.

Are you ever scared that you’ll hear something in someone else’s music that you already have written down?
It happened during the Phoebe stuff. She was talking about making snow angels and stuff. Different context, but I was like, oh, I just wrote something about making snow angels. And then she said something about “he’s in the shower and I’m talking to myself.” I have so many lyrics about talking to myself out loud because I’m always talking to my spirit guides and things like that, the angels. So, yes. For sure. I guess it helps me cross things out.

How did you react when you found out “In My Room” was Number One on Alternative Radio?
That was so cool because we put in so much work this summer, going to crazy random cities, doing tons of radio shows. Radio I guess is one of the few places where you really do see the work that you do make a difference. You start getting more spins, then suddenly we get Number One. They told me very few women in history have ever gotten that. That’s ridiculous. I’m very honored to be a part of it, but also we need to up that number.

That’s the route for a lot of alt rock artists having to do the radio shows, lay the groundwork, and not just have a hit blow up and have people throw money at you. It’s how we see acts like Bring Me the Horizon, or Pierce the Veil, who you have a show with coming up, end up at Madison Square Garden so many years in.
I’m just so grateful for it, and you do get to experience seeing the growth and being present in the moment of it. I take such inspiration from guys like them and Fall Out Boy, just looking at where they started and all the B-market tours that the agents don’t want you to do. It’s like I’m doing them though, because those people are gonna come out. They’ll hopefully come back. That’s how you grow. There are no shortcuts and we’re just in a world full of shortcuts right now that I refuse. I will do the marathon versus the sprint if that’s going to land me more longevity.

What do you think about how your music might be introducing different audiences to that format?
It’s so exciting. I mean, my first thought when you talk about that is the Yeat interview where he says he heard “Linger” by the Cranberries for the first time, and he says he’d never listened to rock music ever before that moment, and it was just a light bulb and so inspiring to him. I think that’s why I love doing collabs with all these people in different pockets because it does kind of open the eyes to a new audience who isn’t necessarily into it or aware of it, aware that people are even making alternative music. I have to just stay true to what we’ve been doing. I had a moment where I was like, “Oh, we need to make a high-end music video for ‘Deep End,’” which we did. But I was going through this thing of like, it needs to sound more polished and sonically different. And then we put it out and I was like, gosh, I don’t know, I need to go back to my roots.

What has it been like watching your audience expand this year? “In My Room” has been consistently growing.
I am so appreciative of that because I do see a lot of these quick rises and then the fall off, and of course I’m so paranoid of that. But to that point, I think a lot of the growth has come from the live performance, like these videos going around, which is so cool. It’s just about the music and people like it. We are continuing to grow, and I think I’ve really tried to also inject a lot of myself and personality in there, so that it isn’t just one song. It’s like, oh, this is the community, the world that we’re all jumping into together, and make it so that if another young girl sees that I’m watching Gilmore Girls, then it’s like, “Oh, we’re the same.” We’re in it together.

You’re about to head out on the road for three months of shows. How are you feeling about it?
It’s my first time even having lighting and stage production. It’s usually just me and a curtain. I think inherently everything that I gravitate towards is always on the darker, familiar side. The stage is very much going to reflect that and give that kind of cozy bedroom feel, but also the forest feel. I’m so big on that aspect of things because I’m really not so much of a city girl. I grew up in the suburbs. I’m very much a quiet, chill person. So I think the stage is going to reflect that, and the lighting will really help me narrate the story of these moments that feel really impactful.

The tour opens in Forks, Washington.
When I first went there, the forest alone made me start crying. It makes everything feel so real. They do a Twilight Festival. It’s a week long over there, and I desperately wanted to perform at the last one. They were like, “Oh no, we just can’t do it.” So when they said no, that’s when I did the Bella Swan shows instead, like at her house, which was a dream come true. And then this year they reached out and they were like, “Hey, we can do this now.” I was like, “OK, cool, but can we just make it free for everyone?” Because the tickets are quite pricey for the week-long event. They’re like, “Yeah, well, if you do the welcome party, anyone can go to it.” So they sent me a picture of the stage, and it’s like a pickup truck with a trailer attached to the back of it. It’s so good, and it’s just going to be in a park.

Thinking about the younger version of yourself that related to Bella, as you’ve gotten older, how do you see that connection between yourself and that character change?
I feel like I’m still the same, honestly. There isn’t too much growth that’s happened in terms of the way that she feels self-conscious, and she doesn’t feel worthy of him or doesn’t understand why he would pick her, I guess. It’s something that I still just relate to a little too much. But it gives me a lot of comfort. I just watch it, and sometimes I will get that little feeling of giddiness that I used to get even just for a split second, it catches me off guard. I’m like, oh yeah, it’s just very magical for me to experience those feelings that are so long gone for us.

The soundtracks from Twilight have also lived on in their own way. How do you think about longevity in regard to your own music?
The reason why I even started posting “In My Room” with Twilight is because I didn’t want to be on video, and this was something I loved, and I wanted a clear visual for people to just understand right away. I feel like I could build those same kinds of worlds with the other music, and just start putting them in places to where people are like, “Oh, OK, yeah, it’s really easy for me to get now. I understand.” I don’t post as crazy as I used to. I’m afforded the ability to have space and chill a little bit so that things can grow. I don’t have to be the one shoving it down everyone, but rather just giving it time for people to even discover it. Hopefully the more videos of shows that do well will just inspire people to check out some of the other songs.

How do you have that be a part of this world that you’re building around your music without essentially becoming the Twilight girl?
That’s such a good question because I love it so dearly, but now that it’s happened with “In My Room,” and it’s also in the “Lamb” music video, I don’t know. I can’t help myself. I just love it so much. If people want to label me that way and not take the time to see the rest of the discography and who I am as a person, so be it. I try to do the vlogs and interviews where it is just more personality stuff to show who I am outside of that. But at the end of the day, I do really just love it. I think I’ll just continue creating and collaborating with other people and growing the shows, and hopefully getting another radio song.