‘I went behind bride’s back at friend’s wedding – I had no choice’

A man whose best friend’s bride-to-be ‘doesn’t like him’ said he ‘went behind her back’ after she put him in an impossible situation.

The 23-year-old, who shared his predicament on Reddit‘s Am I The A**hole forum, revealed that while he and “Joseph” have always been “best mates”, he has never got on well with Joseph’s fiancée, “Amy”.

He said: “We (he and Joseph) became close pretty much immediately and as we grew up we became best mates.

“His future wife Amy doesn’t like me. I have no idea why, its not even a mutual feeling.”

After the couple got engaged and started planning their wedding, the anonymous poster said Amy started causing trouble. “Joseph is South Asian and Amy is White so they’re having a mix of cultures at the wedding,” he said.

“As a member of the groom’s half I’ve got to wear something South Asian,” he added, stating he initially picked out a red kurta to wear.

However, Amy was quick to reject the outfit, claiming it looked too bridal. While the poster was confused by Amy’s concerns, he instead picked out a blue kurta, which Amy then branded “too bright.”

It was when he picked a third, green kurta that he realised he might not be able to please the bride-to-be, regardless of what he wore. “She said it didn’t go with the theme,” he said. “I was starting to get the feeling she was doing this on purpose.”

“So instead of asking her about it, for the next one I just went straight to Joseph for approval, he okayed it pretty much instantly, a cream kurta which matched some of the other’s on his side.”

The original poster said Amy instantly “started screaming” when she saw the outfit choice. “I think she thought it was too similar to white,” he said.

“She called me a lot of swears, which I will not repeat, and an a-hole for going behind her back.

“But it’s Josephs’s wedding too. Its not like I just chose it on my own.”

Commenters were quick to agree with the original poster. One wrote: “So she can’t pretend to act agreeable thinking no one else would see it.”

Meanwhile another chimed in: “NTA (not the a**hole), but at some point, you’re going to have to tell her, ‘Amy. I need to know what you find to be an acceptable choice. I’ve tried several options and you’ve told me no to each one. This is getting ridiculous.’ Be the adult in the situation.”

“It might also be worthwhile to ask her directly what her problem is with you. Perhaps not until after the wedding, though.”

“NTA But you need to start including Joseph in these conversations,” another agreed. “As you said, it’s his wedding too, and he needs to be aware of how she’s acting.”