Do University Trustees Have Archetypes?

Carl Jung (Swiss, 1875–1961), the celebrated psychiatrist, psychologist and psychotherapist, created the concept of archetypes—characters whose patterns of behavior, belief and motivation are predictable. Archetypes can be found in myths, history and daily life throughout the world and across time. After a great deal of study, research and contemplation, he is said to have created 12 archetypes.

Just wondering (I mean, who doesn’t?) … What if Jung’s archetypes were paired with customer relationship management profiles of university trustees? Below are some musings on the nexus of fictitious trustee profiles and Jungian thought. These summaries may or may not help guide faculty, staff and administrator interactions with just about any trustee encountered.

Reader notes: Any resemblance to people living or dead is unintentional and coincidental. Contemporary trustee archetype is in bold. Jung’s equivalent is in parentheses.

1. Daisy Duke (The Innocent): Attended the university but never graduated. Serving her second term as board chair. Lives by “never too thin, never too rich.” Thinks skinny distressed jeans and Louboutins make a fashion statement under academic regalia at commencement by arguing, “The school’s colors are red and black!” Owns a wash and blowout hair salon financed by her entrepreneur husband, John Duke ’95.

Special note: University hopes for a seven-figure gift in the near future. She loves to discuss Lululemon activewear, Hulken bags and Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour.

2. Evangelical Father Time (The Sage): Retired minister. Full head of yellow-tinged white hair and a self-proclaimed beard “Rip Van Winkle would be envious of.” Appears to favor suits with ample draping at the behest of his loving “bride,” noting, “It hides my love of her cooking. She nags me about exercising, but I don’t want to miss Hannity.” Carves miniature wood crosses during board meetings, which he signs, dates and presents to fellow trustees, adding, with a knowing look, “I’m praying for you.” Tries to be helpful in finding new board members representing diversity by asking the manager at the local Panda Express if he has an interest in serving on the board. Drives late-model white Chrysler LeBaron with a “Honk If You Love Jesus” bumper sticker. Tenure on board: 48 years.

Special note: He doesn’t know anything about David Byrne’s “big suit” and may become confused if asked. Additional note: He enjoys delivering extended homilies. Doesn’t recall minutes and voting items when leading committee meetings. Staff should sit nearby to gently provide reminders.

3. The General (The Explorer): Joins meetings by Zoom while lounging on the patio of his security-patrolled, razor-wired mountain compound, smoking Cubans and displaying a long, thin ponytail. Informs people he can’t make contributions to the university because he’s arming rebels in Angola and just went on a trip to the Antarctic. Thinks trustees should contribute more so the university can hire his start-up AI company to handle admissions screening. Sometimes wears a military uniform (made by “the wife”) to board events and introduces himself as “General.”

Special note: Regarding his military costume and moniker “General”— no U.S. government record of military service or official rank. Likes to be considered an “impressionist” and not an “impersonator.” He thinks the word “impersonator” may have other implications.

4. BMOC (The Lover): Known for sporting Ray-Bans and lavish, patterned sharkskin suits. Always gets hammered at alumni weekend events, kisses employees and later defensively retorts, “It was an accident.” Known for recommending unqualified, out-of-work old fraternity buddies for development positions because they’re “good guys.” Current fraternity bros find it odd he stays at their post–football game parties long after parents of legacies have departed.

Special notes: He has multiple small businesses, including Tidy Laundry Inc., Charge-UR-Phone, U-Park Lots LLC and Luxury Vending. Advancement staff to soft credit his profile so he receives credit for making his annual board contributions. Known to use sharp language and threaten legal action for noncompliance with his wishes. Another note: Bring Tiparillos as gift when visiting him.

5. Patty Simcox (The Everyman): Alumna when it was a women’s college. Head cheerleader, Carnival Queen and Miss Beaver in her senior year. Married her college sweetheart (he went to the men’s college across the street), who wore black leather and drove a souped-up hot rod detailed with flame art (she likes “bad boys”). He later became attorney general. Gollum (The Ruler) (see below) is still heartsick because he wanted to marry her; later in life he asked her to have an affair (she politely declined, but they remain cordial to this day). She drives red BMW and often screeches to a halt in the middle of campus to admonish students wearing earbuds crossing the street without looking for traffic. Demurely, and yet repeatedly, suggests returning to traditions like May Day (“Maypoles were such fun!”) to increase alumni engagement.

Special note: Beware—if she says, “Bless your heart” or “You’re adorable,” it means you’re already dead to her. Don’t bother to bring up problems to her; she won’t stand up to other trustees because “they are so accomplished. I’m intimidated.” Additional note: She remains furious that Coca-Cola discontinued Tab.

6. Dr. Emily Potter (The Rebel): Permanent scowl on face. Ill-fitting wig (don’t stare if askew). Always leaning back in her chair with folded hands lifted toward her downward-pointing chin (don’t stare at facial hair). Looks over top of glasses during presentations when she disapproves. Waits patiently to rip apart any plan presented by the president. Relentlessly asks questions; if the administration is for it, she is against it. Will give money to other institutions just for spite. Likes to give marketing suggestions to admissions. Thinks that trustees should have business cards with university mission printed on them so they can hand them out to high schoolers at church to boost enrollment.  Also, advocates for university logo to be printed on airport security shoe bins but doesn’t see that it might make people associate the university with a bad experience.

Special note: Only make major asks with naming opportunities. Additional note: Her doctorate is honorary but insists on being called and listed as “doctor.”

7. John “Smiley” McSmiles (The Jester): Unable to locate biographical information online. No trustee questionnaire on file. Efforts to obtain information by staff have been ignored or deflected with unrelated amusing anecdotes. His relationship and how he was appointed to the board remain unclear. According to long-serving members, “he’s just always been around.” Wears seersucker suits, bow ties and poodle shoes. Rumored to have significant wealth, origin unknown. Enjoys helping the advancement office by visiting elderly prospects who have documented planned gifts to the university. Always willing to help clear out houses of deceased donors.

Special notes: Can give some people the creeps. Close talker. Tends to look people up and down, which he explains is from his love of fashion. Additional note: Often greets The General (The Explorer) with “Hey! Gurl! Are you rocking a side pony?” No need for damage control … The General doesn’t seem offended and acknowledges with a jaunty laugh.

8. Karen “Kitty” Priestly (The Creator): Executive at Citibank. Often wears a short skirt and long jacket. Proud of her manicured nails that, she notes, “shine like justice.” Regularly tours the facilities to pick up slack. Known for being fast, thorough, sharp as a tack and using a machete to cut through red tape. Valued member of the finance and investment committees—she has the mind of a diamond and knows what’s best and how to get things done. Under her watch there are always smooth liquidations and good dividends.

Special notes: Gets up early and stays up late. Additional notes: Always needs to borrow a pen. If you drive her, make sure she has a cupholder armrest. If she drives, she’ll be in a white MG because “it will get her there” and its tinted glass is as “dark as her voice.”*

9. Gollum (The Ruler): Gaunt, weathered face; small, emaciated stature; gnarled hands with a large gold ring on one finger. Age unknown. A retired mortician who purportedly once reflected, “I enjoyed the job because people can’t talk back.” Conducts his own exit interviews with departing university employees and reports findings to the board. Encourages faculty members to speculate on enrollment efforts, resulting in board-meeting rants claiming the president lies about student head count. Threatens to withdraw contributions to sway trustee votes. Extends invitations to politicians to speak at commencement without the president’s knowledge.

Special note: Call before visiting. Rumored to have shot dogs wandering on his property. Also, wear blaze orange and do not wear white socks.

10. Foghorn Leghorn (The Magician): Tall, hulking, red-faced bank president. Laments how the university has changed since the days he captained the football team: “Why can’t we be like Liberty? We’d have so many students!” Doesn’t believe in “useless” humanities degrees: “We don’t need art; we need cash!” Wonders aloud to staff members if seeking diversity on the board means “culling the herd” and bellows indignantly, “I’m male, white and conservative. I don’t know any of those people.” Seems perplexed by the staff’s query “Don’t you know any women?” and momentarily considers if the question casts an aspersion to his manhood.

Special note: Went to college with faculty members in the business and education schools. Mind what you say in front of faculty.

11. Pocket Protector (The Caregiver): IT project manager at Morgan Stanley. Proudly identifies with 1960s IBM employee culture. Likes a good brush cut and a dab of Brylcreem hair pomade. Never invested in orthodontia. Confidently wears black horn-rimmed glasses, a Timbuk2 backpack, Farah short-sleeved button-down shirts, pleated Dockers and Allbirds wool runners. Carries a tiny notebook emblazoned with the word “THINK.” Outstanding posture. Worries incessantly about business school alumni getting “ginned up” about this or that.

Special note: Calls senior administrators at 4:30 a.m. while on the train headed into the City for work, complains about the president and asks them to do something about her. Additional note: Consider keeping cellphone ringer off at night.

12. Napoleon (The Hero): Wears an American flag lapel pin, favors a generous application of Drakkar Noir and cheerfully conveys, “Buying clothes in the Nordstrom boys’ department is such a deal. I love their sales.” Often recounts glory days as the student body president. Visits campus several times a semester to mentor aspiring leaders. When spotted buying sweats at the campus bookstore recently, he self-consciously relayed, “I’ve put on a few pounds on the campaign trail. You have to eat the BBQ!” and quickly adds something about being “tight” with the governor.

Special note: Insists that the board recite the Pledge of Allegiance at the beginning of each meeting. May become indignant if request isn’t honored. Another note: Boasted to the current university president at his inauguration, “Someday, I’ll have your job.”

*Apologies to the band Cake and their 2001 hit “Short Skirt/Long Jacket.” Great song.