Ahead of Easter, SNL’s Trump says stocks ‘did a Jesus’ in falling, rising and falling again

“Saturday Night Live” did its best attempt to bring levity to the global economic turmoil sparked by President Donald Trump’s uncertain and oft-changing tariffs.

The show’s cold open was a spoof of the biblical “Cleansing of the Temple,” about Jesus’ move to rid Jerusalem’s temple of profiteers whose focus on monetary exchanges did not befit the solemnity of the location.

“I will rid this place of all its money,” said Jesus, played by Mikey Day.

Enter James Austin Johnson’s Trump: “Remind you of anyone? The money’s gone. Hi. It’s me, your favorite president, Donald Jesus Trump.”

Johnson’s Trump admitted his “beautiful tariffs” upended the U.S. economy.

Trump continued: “Many people are even calling me the Messiah, because of the mess I, uh, made out of the economy — all because of my beautiful tariffs. So beautiful. They were working so well I had to stop them.”

He took credit for restoring the economy to a semblance of normalcy.

“Now everything is back exactly how it was,” Trump said, “minus a few trillion dollars.”

He dismissed questions about whether a few members of his administration and inner circle may have taken profitable stock positions amid the turmoil, describing the situation as “a historic transfer of wealth from the middle class to my buddies.”

“Oh well,” Trump said.

He brought his meandering talk back to the theme of Easter.

“It’s true, the stock market did a Jesus,” Trump said. “It died, then on the third day it was risen. And then on the fourth day it died again, possibly never to return, just like Jesus. Where is that guy? Come back. Get me out of this.”

Trump saved some breath for the occasion, saying it’s sad some people only attend church on Christmas and Easter. “Not me, I don’t go on those days, either,” he said.

Jon Hamm was the night’s host. Lizzo was the musical guest.

“SNL” airs on NBC, a division of NBCUniversal, which is also the parent company of NBC News.