Noah Kahan Gets a Fake Call From Congress Telling Fans to Wear Diapers

During his stop in Washington, the singer pretended to get a phone call from the government about fans relieving themselves mid-show

People are reportedly soiling themselves at Noah Kahan concerts. Yes, that means fans are literally shitting their pants rather than abandoning their seats. The singer-songwriter himself addressed the ongoing debacle on stage at his concert in Washington, D.C., pretending to get a call from Congress during his “Dial Drunk” phone booth segment.

“Hello? Congress. Oh, people have been pissing all over the floor at my shows as well?” Kahan exclaimed into the telephone. “So, you guys are ordering by Act of Congress that everyone has to wear diapers before they get in? Is that what we’ve come to?” Addressing the packed crowd, Kahan said, “Alright, you heard Congress, fucking put some diapers on next time, y’all.”

This isn’t the first time Kahan, who is currently in the middle of a sold-out stadium tour to promote his fourth studio album, The Great Divide, has pleaded with fans to use the bathroom during his concerts. “If you have to poop at a show please dear god just go to the bathroom lmao I’ve pooped my pants as much as the next 29 year old but you guys gotta understand there’s a venue worker out there with a 1000 yard stare after dealing with that,” Kahan wrote on X last month.

His message appeared to be in response to several Reddit and TikTok posts recounting fellow concertgoers going absolutely feral on the floor.

If you have to poop at a show please dear god just go to the bathroom lmao I’ve pooped my pants as much as the next 29 year old but you guys gotta understand there’s a venue worker out there with a 1000 yard stare after dealing with that

— Noah Kahan (@NoahKahan) June 27, 2026

Olivia Rodrigo also recently recalled unfortunate memories of fans refusing to use the bathroom. “I have been to certain concerts and certain festivals where people wear diapers so that they can be front row of the show,” she said when appearing on U.K. radio show Kiss Breakfast. “That’s been an experience of a performer that I have smelled and experienced.”

For anyone needing to freshen up on proper show etiquette, here’s a guide on how to attend a concert and not ruin it for others.

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